In the Part 2 of this series, we opened the topic of a personal value that is completely separate from possessions, career, family ties, and anything else external. We asked what would happen if everything external, touchable, viewable disappeared from someone’s life. This hypothetical removal of everything exterior is an invitation to boost self esteem by examining the interior life.
For those with a high level of self-worth, it is not unsettling to have all the surrounding trappings of life removed, because these outer trappings do not fundamentally change the inner core. Who the person IS remains the same: the characteristic nature and way of being in the world for that person are unchanged by external circumstances. The removal of all the externals do not matter, because the value of that person is not measured by those circumstances. The value, the self worth, is connected to what is within.
A health and wellness coach or holistic healing practitioner who understands the body – mind – spirit connection in life will often encourage their clients to pursue these lines of thought. For those seeking self knowledge and a realistic assessment of worth, the key question is:
After all the externals are gone, what is left of me that has value?
The process of answering this question is like a personal archeological dig, whisking away the dust and matter, unearthing the treasure beneath it. That treasure within is the source of real self worth.
A deep understanding of the value of BEING, rather than DOING or HAVING is what leads to an inner worth, a resilience. That resilience knows that regardless of what happens in the outer world, and regardless of possessions and positions lost, the BEING within is just as valuable.
What are the Qualities of the Core
Because we spend so much time attending to the parts of our lives that happen OUTSIDE of us, many of us seldom get around to looking inside. We only discover our BEING core by delving. Imagine being asked to explore this by a health and wellness coach or a holistic healing practitioner. Questions to ponder include:
I am _______________. I am not _______________________.
I see myself as ______________. Others see me as _______________.
Experiences in my life I value most are ________________________.
I feel fulfilled, satisfied, joyous when _________________________.
This is my best quality ___________________________.
My greatest fears are _______________________________.
The mistakes I make most often are ________________________.
I’d like MOST to improve THIS about myself today: ____________.
The most limiting beliefs I have about myself are _________________.
I let myself down when I _____________________________.
The way these and similar questions are answered, when alone and for no one else to see or evaluate, lets the BEING of genuine self show through. It is a measure of real self worth. Self worth encompasses both our strengths AND our weaknesses, accepting that we are imperfect.
We persist in our imperfection. Each of us is human. There are no perfect humans. We welcome ourselves to the club of what it is like to be human.
It is important that we learn to see ourselves, our strengths, our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. The recognition needs to come from within. Within is the only place where we can accept ourselves, from our own view, not through another’s opinion. When we rely on the opinion of others, we are never connected to our strength. What happens if someone else changes his or her mind? Only SELF knowledge can bring us a stable sense of self worth.